Why We Moved Back to India After 15 Years in the US — And Why It’s Working for Us

 

A year ago, we did something that had been quietly brewing for a while—we packed up our life in the US and moved back to India. Two kids, two jobs, and fifteen years of routines, friendships, and Costco runs later, we hit pause and asked ourselves: Is this what we want for the next decade?

The answer was a clear, resounding no.

Since then, I’ve had so many conversations with friends and colleagues—some curious, some skeptical, and some secretly considering the same move. So I thought I’d write this down. Not as a checklist or a how-to guide, but as a real story. Our story.

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Why We Moved: The Quiet Exhaustion Behind the “Dream”

On paper, we had it all. Two full-time jobs, a lovely home, good schools, safe neighborhood. But under the surface, we were stretched thin.

Weekdays were a blur of meetings, daycare pickups, grocery runs, and laundry. Weekends were packed with birthday parties, social obligations, and catching up on chores. We were constantly on the move, but never really moving forward.

And then there was the emotional toll. We missed weddings, funerals, and family emergencies. I still carry the guilt of not being able to see my grandfather one last time before he passed—thanks to COVID travel restrictions. He never met my son. That one hurt.

We also felt tethered to our jobs—not just for career growth, but to maintain the lifestyle, the healthcare, the mortgage. It was subtle, but constant.

Eventually, we asked ourselves: What are we chasing? And is it worth it? That’s when the idea of moving back stopped being a “maybe someday” and became a plan.

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Planning the Move: Not a Leap, But a Layered Transition

We didn’t just wake up and book tickets. We planned. A lot.

We visited India a few months before the move, toured schools, spoke to other families who had returned. We chose Hyderabad—my hometown—not just for family, but because the city had evolved. Gated communities, international schools, tech parks—it felt familiar, yet new.

We decided to rent for the first year. That gave us breathing room to explore neighborhoods and figure out what worked for us. We also chose to live independently—not with extended family—so we could maintain the space we were used to.

Work-wise, we were lucky. We found roles in the same company and team we worked with in the US, which made the transition smoother. But we still braced ourselves for cultural shifts at work.

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What we love:

Family: Present, Not Just Connected

We’re here. For birthdays, festivals, random Sunday lunches. My kids know their grandparents beyond video calls. They’ve built bonds with cousins, aunts, and uncles. It’s grounding.

But let me pause here to talk about expectations. Don’t move to India assuming extended family will take over childcare. That’s not how it works. Our parents and in-laws have their own lives, commitments, and rhythms. We moved closer to them for proximity, not dependency. That way, we are there for each other when there is a need for family, but not disrupting already set routines. And I think that’s why it’s working—for us and for them.

School: A Deep Dive, Not a Quick Pick

This was one of the most intense parts of our move. My partner and I interviewed about ten schools, toured several, while understanding various curriculum options. We finally chose one with an IB curriculum—very similar to what our kids were used to in the US. They settled in within a week.

But here’s the thing: there’s no one-size-fits-all. It depends on your child’s personality, your values, and your long-term plans. Also, factor in commute. A 10km distance can mean 10 minutes or an hour depending on traffic, roads, and mode of transport. We chose a rental close to the school, and that’s made daily life smoother.

Community Living

Our gated community has parks, walking tracks, and kids who ride bikes together. It’s safe, social, and gives our children a sense of belonging.

Domestic Help

This one’s a game-changer. We found a reliable maid and cook after a few trials. It took me time to adjust, but now I have hours back in my day—to read, write, pursue hobbies, or just sit still.

Convenience

Groceries arrive at our doorstep. Need a plumber or deep-cleaning? There’s an app. It’s not perfect, but it’s efficient and timely.

Travel

We’ve taken quarterly vacations—Andaman, Ellora Caves, Warangal, and a few other religious/spiritual trips that would’ve needed a lot of planning if we were to do from the States. The kids are learning Indian history not just from textbooks, but from forts and temples.

Food

My kids love berries and avocados. I was shocked when a fruit vendor rang our doorbell with fresh blueberries and cherries. Yes, they’re pricey, but they’re available. Peanut butter, Nutella, pasta—check. My American-born kids felt right at home.

Medical Care

Specialist appointments that took weeks in the US can happen in days. And at much affordable price. However, if you want the kind of cleanliness, courtesy comparable to US hospitals, there are a select few that you can go to. They may charge a bit more compared to other hospitals, but the quality and hygiene bar would be high. Thankfully Hyderabad has quite a few such options close to where we live, which is one of the most reassuring factors. 

The Challenges: What We Miss (and What We’ve Learned)

Let’s be honest— Just like any other place in the world, India isn’t perfect either. Here’s what we’ve had to adjust to:

Cost of Living

If you want a US-style lifestyle—international schools, gated communities, imported goods—it adds up fast. India is cheaper in many ways, but the premium lifestyle isn’t.

Cultural Nuances: Familiar, Yet Foreign

Though I was raised in India, I had unlearned a few things during my time in the States. Getting used to life here again took some recalibration. One book that helped immensely: The Culture Map by Erin Meyer. It gave me a framework to understand the invisible boundaries of global communication—at work and at home.

My kids had their own learning curve. In the US, consequences were clear and consistent. In India, they heard things like “I’ll call your parents” from teachers—but no one actually did. It confused them at first, but they’ve adapted and now know what’s real vs rhetorical.

Traffic, pollution and crowds

Surprisingly, the traffic here hasn't been as overwhelming as I feared. There's a certain rhythm to it—chaotic, yes, but once you tune into it, it becomes navigable. It took me a couple of months to get comfortable driving here. For my daily commute, having a driver has been a huge relief—it gives me time to catch up on calls or just breathe.

What I do miss is the ability to step outside and take a peaceful walk. In the US, where we lived, we had clean air, mountain views, and quiet trails just right outside the house. Here, we walk in our community, but if you live in a large, gated complex, evening walk tracks can get crowded. We chose a smaller community, which helps. Still, for that clean breeze and solitude, we sometimes drive to nearby spots.

While most of the professional interactions are very similar to what you have in the US, some outside work interactions might be very annoying in the moment. Especially dealing with the sense of entitlement and lack of civic sense in the public can be really frustrating. While you have the choice to keep such interactions to a minimum, it's impossible to completely avoid them. For example, dealing with someone cutting the line in front of you in a shopping mall or someone just stopping in the middle of the road to pick up a friend, blocking the traffic behind them, or people trying to exploit your trusting nature. You just need to come up with mental exercises that would help you keep your sanity and not let these experiences define your day.

Dealing with those creatures that existed since dinosaurs

Here’s something no one really prepares you for—but everyone here just accepts as part of daily life: mosquitoes.

They’re everywhere. Parks, balconies, outdoor cafes, and especially during those lovely evening walks when you’re just trying to enjoy the breeze. It’s like they’ve got a radar for family outings and freshly applied sunscreen.

Thankfully, indoors we’ve got our defences in place. Plug-in repellents hum away in every room, and they do a pretty solid job—so inside the house, it’s mostly peaceful. But the moment we step out, it’s game on. Especially during Malaria, Dengue, or Chikungunya season, we go into full protection mode. We do everything we can to keep the kids (and ourselves) bite-free.

Our bags and cars now carry mosquito roll-ons, sprays, patches—right next to sanitizer. It’s become second nature. The kids know the drill: apply repellent before stepping out, no exceptions. So far, knock on wood, it’s working.

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Why It’s Working for Us

Perhaps the most transformative gain has been a subtle but powerful one: A Liberating Sense of Freedom. Not the kind that comes from a passport or a paycheck, but the kind that comes from reclaiming your time and energy.

In the US, our lives were tightly interwoven with work schedules, daycare logistics, and mortgage obligations. Here in India, that grip has loosened. The presence of domestic help has freed up hours each week, enabling us to rediscover hobbies, take quarterly vacations, and even entertain the idea of early retirement.

We’re not alone in this sentiment. A 2023 survey revealed that 60% of NRIs in the US, UK, Canada, and Australia are actively considering a return to India for retirement—driven by the desire for emotional well-being, proximity to family, and a more intentional lifestyle.

For us, this freedom has translated into real choices: writing, traveling, spending time with our kids, and exploring side projects that once felt impossible in the daily grind of American life. It’s not just about slowing down—it’s about living deliberately.

The move was voluntary. That matters.

For every hiccup we face along the way, we remind ourselves: Is this challenge unique to India, or could it happen anywhere? More often than not, it’s the latter. And when it is India-specific, we find workarounds and mitigation plans.

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Final Thoughts: Should You Move Back?

If you’re considering the move, ask yourself:

• What are your priorities—career, family, lifestyle?
• Are you prepared for cultural and logistical adjustments?
• Can you plan the move, not just react to circumstances?

For us, the answer was yes. And while there are trade-offs we’ve made, it’s been deeply fulfilling.

And that, to me, is the real win.

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